Your Best is Good Enough Even if it Doesn’t Feel Like it

I had this totally crazy day recently.

Ok, who am I kidding? Every single day is totally crazy. Like, Running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off, don’t even have time to use the bathroom when I need to, psycho busy kinda crazy. I know you can relate. And it all reaches the peak of insanity every night right around dinnertime, amiright?

After the kids come home from school and before they go to bed there are only a few hours to get everything done. They have homework, chores, activities, and sports and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to do any one of those things. Heaven forbid you throw in a doctor’s appointment. Or in the case of the other day, throw in two of them.

My first mistake was thinking I could be all productive and whatnot and actually get some essential things done. I scheduled two appointments in a row, one for my son, and one for me, both right before Princess had to be at gymnastics. But since all of those things were within a five minute drive of each other, I thought I totally got this. So you know how scheduling things down to the very minute never ever works?  Yeah, that day was no exception.

After being late to both appointments, making 3 separate trips to two different pharmacies, finding out that Hubby was coming home late, getting Princess to gymnastics late, feeling bad that I’d left a stressed-out teenager to take care of a clingy toddler for a bit too long, running home to put said toddler to bed, and having to stop everything to clean up certain toddler-induced spills, I really started to lose it. On the outside I was just a typical harried mess. But on the inside I felt almost dizzy with pent up frustration, anger and overwhelm. I just could not handle that day at all. And it wasn’t helping that I’d been on a smaller dose of my anti-depressant. When I finally had two minutes to think, I started to feel like a failure.

sad-505857_1920.jpg

I felt like I was totally failing at this mom thing.

I started thinking of all the ways I should have done better. I should have planned better. I should have gotten more done earlier in the day. I should have planned less for today and more for tomorrow. I should have brought the toddler to the doctor with me. I should never plan anything for after school ever because it’s just too dang crazy. Then I started thinking about all the ways I suck. I suck at being home when my kids need me. I suck at multitasking. I suck at being on time to things. I suck at being a responsible adult let alone a mother of 5 children.

I started wondering if my best was ever going to be good enough.

I mean, there’s no doubt I’m doing my best here. It’s not like I wanted to go to the doctor twice and the pharmacy three times in one day because it was fun. I was trying my darndest to get my family’s needs taken care of. I was working my butt off here for the benefit of my family.

And then it hit me.

My best was good enough just because it was my best. Period.

your best.jpg

I stress so much about whether I’m doing everything the right way, and making the best possible decisions at any given moment, but if I look around me at all the happy kids and functioning families, I realize that each mom is doing things differently. They’re doing their best, and that’s good enough.

I worry about doing things the best way, but aside from the extremes of abuse and neglect, maybe there really is no such thing as one best way to be a mom. Sure I have goals and lofty ideals, but I rarely actually meet them. Does that mean I’ve failed and my kids will end up needing lifelong therapy because of it? Probably not.

At this point I started to think of all the things I’d actually done right. I got my kid to the doctor. I got myself to the doctor. I got two kids their medications. I gave my kids hugs. I ensured that they had their physical needs met. They may have eaten frozen pizza for dinner (for the second night in a row) but they were fed.

If you feel like you are doing your best and it’s just not good enough, think of all the things you did right today. I know you can find something. In fact, tell me right now, what is ONE THING you did today that was good enough? Just one.

And then tell yourself:

I’m doing my best, and it’s good enough.

Because it is.

 

Momming is hard, amiright?

Make momming easier with FREE access to the entire Survive Mommyhood Resource Library!

2 thoughts on “Your Best is Good Enough Even if it Doesn’t Feel Like it

  1. This is what I needed today. I have been really down on myself for the past couple of days for not being “good enough”. This morning we were OVER AN HOUR late for school because my eldest slept in and could not seem to get moving no matter how much I nagged, cajolled, yelled and, finally, cried. She has special needs and I worry about her and whenever I struggle, we all struggle. I burst into tears again in front of her teacher (who very kindly hugged me and pointed out that the kids love me and think I’m great, so I must be doing a good job). I still spent most of my day procrastinating and just making myself feel worse. I went googling about Mormons with the vague thought that maybe having a church would help and found you!

    1. Oh my goodness, I am so glad you found me! I’ll be honest, church does help me. And so does knowing I’m not alone. I can so relate to getting your kids an hour late to school and feeling like a failure. Momming is hard!!!! But I bet that teacher is right and you are doing a great job! Thanks for your comment. It really makes me feel good to know that people can relate to the thoughts I put out there. And if you do find you want to know more about the Mormon church, I’ve got a profile you can check out that may answer some questions. Check it out! https://www.mormon.org/me/9M5P

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *