To be fair, I didn’t do this of my own volition. I was coerced into it by my therapist. But I did it. I forgave myself.
It was not a particularly bad week. It was just fine, in fact. But whenever I tried to sit down and think of something (anything) I did right this week, I completely drew a blank. Actually, that’s not true. I had lots of thoughts going through my brain. But they were all the things I did WRONG this week.
I always have a hard time thinking of what I did right each week, but this week was harder.
I didn’t give my kids enough individual attention. I forgot an appointment. I didn’t read much to my toddler. I didn’t clean a lot. I didn’t take great care of myself. I did go for walks, but that’s not much of a blog post.
Then I went to therapy.
The therapist asked me to write down positive statements about myself beginning with “I am” or “I deserve.” I was able to write down 5. He then told me some positive statements to write down.
Things like, “I deserve to be less self-critical.”
“I deserve to be more reasonable in my expectations of myself.”
And the big one for me, “I deserve to make mistakes and not beat myself up.”
This was huge.
I had spent the good part of an afternoon berating myself for being late for an appointment with BB’s teacher that I had completely forgotten. I was so hard on myself that finally Princess had to tell me to let it go because everyone makes mistakes. I realized today that I never want my kids to be that hard on themselves. What kind of an example am I to them if I don’t forgive myself?
Another thing the therapist told me was that we have to make mistakes to learn.
It’s just a part of life. It’s OK. Move on.
So I did. I forgave myself.
I moved on. Just like I would want my kids to do. I don’t know why I was suddenly able to do it. Maybe i just felt like I needed someone’s permission to do so. Well I got that permission, and suddenly i was able to just forget about all the crap I felt like I did wrong, and let it go.
Tell me what you did right this week. I know you did something right. Go ahead and brag about it! That way I’m not the only one. I promise it’ll make you feel better. It sure did for me. And if you can’t think of anything you did right, then do what I did. Forgive yourself.