Danking With My Teens

Momming is hard, amiright?

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“Oh, we danking? We danking??”

J-Dog (14) asked me this the other night as I  browsed a humor board on Pinterest and laughed my head off.

He originally thought I was laughing about something he and his brother were doing, but shockingly I was not paying attention to them in the least. It was past the general family “bedtime” which we all know really means, “Mommy’s alone time.” So I ignored all the kids who were still up, got sucked into the bottomless pit that is the internet, and enjoyed it immensely.

He strutted up to me where I was sitting at the computer and kept repeating, “We danking now? We danking?” By this time both J-Dog and J-Dub (16) were huddled around me where I sat at the computer. They started laughing at all the funny memes and at the same time making fun of me (like they do) saying, “Wow, Mom is finally discovering the internet.”

Not wanting to admit my ignorance for fear of living up to my apparent reputation as someone who is just now “discovering the internet,” I hesitated, but I finally asked J-Dog, “What is danking?” To which he replied:

“Danking is looking at dank memes instead of going to sleep because sleep is unnecessary.”

dank memes1.jpg

That was not that helpful (though apparently effective as a means of not going to bed). So naturally I googled “dank.” See?  I use the internet.

The first thing that popped up, a definition from google, was similarly unhelpful: “disagreeably damp, musty, and typically cold.” Too literal. Next.

Urban Dictionary was more enlightening:

“Formerly used to denote really potent weed, it now means really or awesome: That party was dank!”
When we realized it basically meant “dope,” as in “Hello there, fellow adolescents. I recently partook of some dope that was particularly dope. One could even call it dope dope, if you will,” J-Dub and I both said at the exact same time, “That’s dope dope!”
After our discovery we continued looking at memes and googling the term “dank memes” which is apparently not only a thing, but comes up with some disturbing images. We had a lot of fun together, my teenage boys and I.  We laughed uproariously and J-Dog even exclaimed, “We’re danking out!” (I’m still a little fuzzy on the usages here). When I decided I had to get back to what I was supposed to be doing in the first place he begged, “No, let’s get back to danking!”
“Sorry, you two can keep danking, or whatever, over there on your phones.”
So they did.
I love having teenage boys. They’re hilarious and fun. I was afraid that having teenage boys would be scary. I thought for sure they’d be sullen and surly all the time, but they’re only like that about 25% of the time. Maybe 33% tops. Most of the time though, they are full of life and humor and excitement. They are little kids in big bodies who still want attention, love and fun; but instead of hot wheels and hugs they want it in the form of memes and danking. And that’s fine with me.
I thought all of this “dankness” was so funny that when I tried to go back to working on the computer I couldn’t stop giggling. J-Dog said, “You should write a blog post about this.”
So I did.

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